How To Start And Tackle Long Distance Relationship Problems

How To Start And Tackle Long Distance Relationship

A long-distance relationship (LDR) or long-distance romantic relationship (LDRR) is a romantic relationship between two people who live in different parts of the country. Geographic isolation and a lack of face-to-face interaction are challenges for partners in LDRs. LDRs are especially common among college students, accounting for 25% to 50% of all relationships. Despite the fact that academics have reported a significant number of LDRs in undergraduate populations, long-distance relationships remain an understudied occurrence.

Advice For Long Distance Relationships

If love knows no bounds, how can starting a long-distance relationship be difficult?

Long-distance relationships necessarily involve more trust, communication, and independence than a typical relationship.

However, when properly nurtured, they can be just as fulfilling as any other romantic relationship.

The distance helps you to appreciate the little things in life and makes your time together even more precious. But how do you go about making one work? All you need to remember is right here.

1. Set reasonable goals

Couples who do not live in the same city or country are more likely to lose sight of their bond and future together. This is why it is important to be transparent from the start on what you expect from the relationship and from each other.

How much can you communicate? How much do you want to see each other in person? Are you committed to monogamy or do you mind if they meet other people?

If you want to endure this time apart, you must have transparent and frequent conversations about the state and future of your relationship.

2. Communicate

Every couple needs to communicate. It is, however, the foundation of a long-distance relationship. Navigating a romance while separated can be stressful if constant and clear communication is not maintained.

One of the most common mistakes that long-distance couples make is failing to share details about their separate lives with each other.

They believe that doing so is unnecessary because their partner is unfamiliar with the people or locations involved. The reality, on the other hand, could not be further from the truth.

Making an effort to include your partner in your world, even if they are physically far away, is what active communication entails. Make an effort to share your life with them.

Tell them about your plans for lunch, the podcast you're listening to, and what you see on your morning commute. Sharing such details will help to strengthen your bond.

3. Create regular appointments

When it comes to dating in a long-distance relationship, technology is your best mate. So take advantage of it by scheduling routine date nights with your partner.

Making an effort to have frequent and imaginative dates can help to keep the flame burning. It will also give you something to look forward to if you are unable to see each other for an extended period of time.

Because of the coronavirus pandemic, there are more virtual date options than ever before. If you and your partner enjoy online cooking classes or live concerts, there is something for every couple. So pick one that appeals to you and have fun.

4. Make intimacy a priority

In every relationship, intimacy is important, and it looks different for each couple.

Don't be concerned if you're nervous about initiating intimacy with your distant partner. Simply discuss your expectations and boundaries with them in an open and trusted manner.

There are numerous ways for you two to keep your romance alive, from late-night video calls to thoughtful texts and love letters. So think outside the box!

5. Have an endgame in mind

The most difficult aspect of being in a long-distance relationship is the feeling that you will be in one for the rest of your life. So, nip this concern in the bud by keeping an end date in mind from the start.

Although it is not needed to be concrete, having an end date gives you and your partner something to look forward to. This is especially useful when times are tough.

Having a target to work for is important, whether your endgame is one of you moving to the other's city or both of you moving to a new location together.

Distance does not have to mean the end of your relationship; it simply means that your bond must evolve slightly.

So, if you and your partner are going to be separated for an extended period of time, simply prioritize the advice on this list and stay optimistic.

Problems In Long Distance Relationships

Everyone understands that long-distance relationships are difficult, but what exactly does that entail? What are the most common and severe long-distance relationship issues? Can they be repaired, or are most long-distance partnerships doomed?

Long-distance relationships are difficult to manage. And there are several long-distance relationship issues that do not affect same-city partnerships as much. Let's take a look at some of them now.

What are the most common long-distance relationship problems and how to deal with them?

1. Growing apart

If your love moves away and some aspects of your relationship come to a halt or slow down, the rest of life goes on. You don't stop learning, growing, or changing just because the person you care about isn't present every day. They don't either. You're both gaining experience. Some of these encounters will shape your life.

When you're in a long-distance relationship, it can be more difficult to identify and follow your partner's changes.

No matter how much you love each other, there is a real possibility that a gradual drift during your time apart will cause you to grow apart in different ways.

Solution

This is one of the most difficult long-distance relationship issues to resolve. Discuss this risk with your partner. Discuss what you can do if either or both of you feels you are drifting apart in significant ways. And here are few things you can do to help keep this from happening:

• Both accepting that the difference should be temporary and having a target in mind to close the gap

• Visits in both directions on a regular basis

• Maintain daily contact and find a way to continue learning new things and growing closer together even though you're separated. Check out our Great Dates Bundle for our best resources for staying truly linked when you're apart.

2. Getting too lazy to communicate

Long-distance couples frequently discuss how the distance has actually helped them learn to communicate well and at a deep level. However, the inverse is also possible. The distance can also allow for the formation of poor communication patterns.

Of course, there will be times when you talk nonstop and times when you don't talk for days. But, especially if one or both of you are busy, it can be easy to neglect to invest in a deep connection with your partner. In-depth discussions may become fewer and farther between. It can become habitual to just chat about how your day went, or to keep the conversation short and superficial. That's when you know you've got a problem.

Solution

Set aside some online date time at least once a week for purposes other than catching up on your day.

If you are extremely busy or tired, it may be beneficial to reduce your talk time for a short period of time. Or spend some "virtual time" together doing something that doesn't require talking (like watching a TV show together while connected via video). Do some research and find some fun virtual dates. Then, when you do speak, focus. Make the most of it.

3. Feeling insecure

Often we all feel uncertain about ourselves and our relationships. We all have times when we feel threatened or helpless when our doubts and concerns take over and we become nervous. We all have low points or bad days and look to the people we care for support and reassurance. That is normal, and it is part of the give and take of caring, trusting, and growing relationships.

Chronic insecurity, on the other hand, is a far bigger issue that can have a long-term impact on you and your relationship. When you are chronically nervous, you are unable to relax and engage in personal, honest interactions with your partner. And the acts that frequently result from insecurity–constantly seeking reassurance, frequently feeling jealous, making accusations or requests, checking up on people–erode confidence and make you seem needy and less desirable.

Solution

If your insecurity comes and goes, it can also be healthy and beneficial to express your insecurities and fears as they arise. Tell your partner how you're feeling and what's bothering you. This promotes genuine and good communication and allows your partner to react, reassure, and get to know you better.

If, on the other hand, you know you struggle with deep fear much of the time, no amount of reassurance from your partner will ever be enough. You will need to learn to control your own insecurities.

4. Miscommunications and misunderstandings

Miscommunications and misunderstandings are common in romantic relationships. They occur when you live in the same house as someone else. They happen even more frequently when you're thousands of miles apart and communicating via email or a phone line.

It is much more difficult to access nonverbal cues such as gestures, body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and even voice tone when you are in a long-distance relationship. When someone is being sarcastic or joking, it is very easy to miss (or misjudge). This makes excellent communication more difficult.

Solution

Remember how easy it is to misinterpret anyone! Remember that if you are confused or hurt, it is possible that you misunderstood what your partner said or meant!

Pause when you have those "hurt" or "confused" moments. Then, as a general rule, tell them how you're feeling (confused, insecure, hurt, etc.) and inquire as to what they meant by.

Sometimes, a straightforward clarification from them will clear things up considerably. Even if it doesn't, pausing to ask for clarification will allow you to answer thoughtfully rather than reacting. Respond, don't respond is a great mantra to keep in mind if you are confused, upset, or angry.

Learn the natural similarities and variations in your communication styles, as well as how each of you reacts to anger, dissatisfaction, or conflict.

5. Jealousy

Feeling jealous every now and then is normal in a relationship, particularly when you are separated from your loved one. A little envy can also ignite new feelings of desire and affection for your partner.

A single candle, on the other hand, will illuminate a room while fire can burn it to the ground.

Uncontrolled jealousy can result in a toxic mix of distrust, possessiveness, fear, resentment, and shame. If you're feeling jealous, it's a good idea to learn how to handle your envy before it takes over.

Solution

Learning to manage jealousy is not always easy or swift, but it is possible!

You must trust your partner because there is no other way to have a happy and successful relationship. Nobody can control your partner, so you must let jealousy go. Having some control isn't necessarily a bad thing, but trying to control someone for things over which you have no control is problematic. Regardless of your feelings of jealousy, act in a loving manner.

In my next post, I will discuss steps on how to handle jealousy in relationships.