What Is Ghosting?
Ghosting is the practice of suddenly ending all contact and interaction with a partner, friend, or similar individual without warning or explanation, and then avoiding any attempts by said person to reach out or connect.
When you are ghosted, this is what happens. You meet someone sweet and you two get along well; it's all fun and games, and you might have fantasized about or been considering a long-term relationship. You enjoy each other's company while texting, chatting, and laughing. And then, almost out of nowhere, they disappear. They go from frequent contact to no contact at all.
Your partner has most likely not left town due to an emergency, nor is he or she dead somewhere, but has instead ended the relationship without saying so. Simply put, you've been ghosted.
Ghosting in a relationship takes away your control and prevents you from asking questions or having information that will aid in your emotional recovery.
Ghosting is not limited to long-term intimate relationships. Ghosting may occur in casual dating relationships, friendships, and even work relationships. Walking away from a relationship, or even a possible relationship, is a fast and simple way out for the individual who ghosts. There will be no drama, no questions, no need to explain or justify their decisions, and no need to deal with the feelings of others. While the ghoster may benefit from avoiding an awkward situation and potential drama, they have done little to improve their future conversation and relationship skills.
There is no resolution and sometimes deep feelings of confusion and fear for the individual who is ghosted. Initially, you might be perplexed as to "what is going on?" You're left wondering why, what went wrong in the relationship, what's wrong with you, what's wrong with themand, how you didn't see this coming, among other questions.
Why Ghosting Is On The Rise
With the advent of electronic communications and popular dating apps like Badoo, Bumble, and Tinder, as well as other social media apps like Facebook and Twitter, dropping in and out of someone's life has become extremely easy. When the beginning is easy, it is even easier to end without any reason. According to a survey published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships in 2018, approximately 25% of the 1,300 respondents had been ghosted, while 20% had previously ghosted someone. Ghosting appears to be much more common in friendships; more than 33% of study participants reported having ghosted a friend or been ghosted by one in the past.
It's much easier to ghost someone now than it is to have an uncomfortable heart-to-heart on why you're no longer in the relationship. To prevent confrontation or coping with someone else's hurt feelings, the ghoster will simply stop interacting with the ghosted and hope the message gets through.
Internet dating provides what appears to be an unlimited number of choices, as opposed to the limited options provided by traditional methods of meeting people. Online daters are quick to juggle a few people before settling on the person who fits their requirements.
Why People Ghost
There may be several reasons why people ghost. Unfortunately, in many cases, the person is already in a relationship and maybe having an affair.
They abruptly change their minds and ghost the person with whom they had an affair, realizing that it is not what they want. Unfortunately, several people get lost in the middle of this, and as a result, they are ghosted. It is, however, an explanation for why contact is cut off suddenly for no apparent reason.
However, the most common reason for ghosting is that the person is uninterested and does not want to hurt the other person's feelings or have an open confrontation with them.
Most of the time, it's because they didn't feel any attraction to you or because they've decided your friendship isn't going anywhere. Of course, telling someone this is awkward, so they tend to simply ghost. They are not needed to go through the process of explaining themselves and hurting others.
How To Tell If You've Been Ghosted
Are you being ghosted? or is he/she simply too busy or distracted to return your call? If you're not sure if you've been ghosted, here's what you need to know. When you see these signs chances are are you've been ghosted.
Too busy to reply
Some people appear to go off the grid for long periods of time before answering, so if they don't respond right away, it might not be a big deal. But if they are typically attentive and suddenly avoid calling or texting you back, and when they do, they give you the "too busy" excuse for an unusually long period of time, you might have been ghosted.
Physical or emotional distance
When physical or emotional distance grows, it can be difficult to keep up, and ghosting can appear to be the easiest, least complicated option. In certain cases, such as if they have recently taken on a large project or if they have recently undergone a traumatic life event, the silence might be temporary. However, in some situations, it may be irreversible.
What To Do If You've Been Ghosted
It hurts to be ghosted because it is a cruel rejection. It's particularly painful because you're left with no explanation, no guidance about how to proceed, and sometimes a slew of emotions to sort through on your own. If you have low self-esteem, being ghosted will bring it to the forefront.
In this day and age of continually advancing technology, your ghoster is likely to appear on your various social media accounts, and if that is the case, this person who is now physically gone from your life is still very visible. How can you proceed? There is no tried-and-true advice to help you recover from a haunted heart, but there is wisdom.
Ignore reminders of your ex because they are likely to resurface unpleasant emotions and will not assist you in gaining emotional clarification or insight about why they broke up with you, so avoid them completely.
Most importantly, recognize that this is most definitely not about you or anything you did wrong, but rather about them. Instead of torturing yourself by going through old photos, saved old texts, new social media postings, and everything else you believe might provide insight into your ghoster's mind and current whereabouts, try to find a new distraction.
To put it another way, try to move on as soon and as fully as possible. Keep your honesty and focus on your own wellbeing, happiness, and future, leaving the ghoster to deal with the long-term repercussions of their own immaturity and cowardice.
When The Ghost Returns To Haunt
Haunting is the appearance of a ghost seemingly out of nowhere. “They may have disappeared as a result of a personal emergency, this is different from stashing and breadcrumbing.
It is entirely your decision whether or not you want to proceed with the ghost. Be transparent and frank about how you feel. Inform the individual if their actions have hurt you. They owe you an explanation if they want to be accepted back into your life. You can not suppress your feelings and pretend that all is fine because it isn't. This allows a ghost to continue behaving in this way in the future. Such people should not be in your life.
Although reintroducing a ghost into your life is acceptable if they have a rational excuse for their absence, you should proceed with caution to avoid getting your heart broken again. Keep an eye on their conduct as well as the circumstances surrounding their resurrection. Perhaps they are unhappy with their current relationship? Or returning home for the holidays? It may as well be a genuine reason.
If they begin to ghost again, bury them for good. Allow your ghost to slip away into the mists of time.
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